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When someone we care about dies,
whether the death is expected or unexpected, we find ourselves unprepared
for what steps need to be taken. Following are some guidelines to follow
when a loved one dies. We have included suggestions on helping
a grieving friend.
When someone dies, regardless of
the time or place, call us at 1-708-458-0208. We have someone available
24 hours a day to answer all calls. We will help answer any questions
you may have and give advice on what steps need to be taken.
At this time, we will need to get
some information from you, such as:
The name of the deceased, the
place of death, your name and relationship to the deceased, and a phone
number where you can be reached.
We will set up an appointment
time with you that is convenient for you and family members to either
come to the funeral home or have us come to your home to discuss the
funeral arrangements.
- Death
at Home - When someone dies
at home and was not a Hospice patient you must notify the local
Fire Department and Police Department. The Fire Department and Police
Departments have to be called in order make out a report for
the Medical Examiner or Coroner.
- Death of a Person on Hospice - When
a person dies at home and is a Hospice Patient the family may call us
and the Hospice Nurse, or wait for the Hospice Nurse to arrive and then
call us. The Hospice Nurse needs to pronounce the person. The Police and
Fire Departments do not need to be notified.
- Death in a Hospital - When
someone dies in the Emergency Room or was a patient in the hospital,
it is wise to call us. Some healthcare facilities will call on behalf
of the family but many times it is the responsibility of the family
to notify us.
- Death in a Nursing Home - Call us and we will make arrangements with the Nursing Home to transport
the deceased to the funeral home. If you are not at the nursing home
at the time of death, leave instructions with the Nursing Home to call
us in the event of death.
- Death Out-Of-State - When
a person dies outside of Illinois, call us first and we will make arrangements
to have your loved one transported back to Illinois for the funeral
services. Only one call to us is needed. We will handle all the details
for transportation.
- Full Name and Middle Initial
of the Deceased
- Date and Place of Birth
- Social Security Number
- Number of Years of Education
- Military Record
- Marital Status
- Father's Name
- Mother's Maiden Name
- A recent photograph (preferably
within the last 2 years)
- Glasses (if you would like them
to be worn)
- Clothes for deceased to wear,
include underwear for men and undergarments for women
- Stockings, or socks and/or booties
(shoes are optional)
- Jewelry, service pins, medals,
etc.
- Religious items (rosary, etc.)
- Favorite perfume or cologne
Please note: If these items are
not available, it is not necessary that you bring these to the funeral
home for the arrangement conference. All these items can be brought at
a later time.
- For the newspapers, we will gather
information regarding family members to be listed in the death notice.
We will need spouse's name (including maiden), children, grandchildren,
siblings, organizations and clubs deceased belonged to, school and military
information, professional employment history, years of residence and
name of hometown.
- Consider if you would like memorial
gifts designated to a particular church, Hospice, library, school, charity
or organization.
When
a spouse, family member or close friend dies, you may find yourself unexpectedly
responsible for taking care of his of her final personal and business
matters. Listed are some of the tasks that need to be done.
- The Physician (depending on where
the death occurred)
- The Clergy Person
- All the Relatives
- Friends
- Employers (about life insurance
and pension fund benefits, accrued vacation and sick pay, disability
income and credit union balances)
- Employees
- Landlord (if deceased was living
alone)
- Insurance Agents
- Executor of Estate
- Attorney
- Accountant (regarding such matters
as recording property deeds and the disposition of stocks, bonds
and savings)
- Unions, Fraternal Organizations
and Professional Clubs
- Type of Funeral Service
- Date and Time of Funeral
- Casket
- A Cemetery Lot
- A Memorial Marker
- Vault or Outer Burial Container
- Clothing
- Flowers
- Music
- Site for Service i.e.: Church
or Funeral Chapel
- Time of Visitation and Service
- Persons to Participate at the
Funeral Service
- Prayer Cards/Memorial Folders/Thank
You Notes
- Prayers and Songs for Service
- Site for Luncheon after Funeral
Locate important papers including
contents of safe deposit boxes, business agreements, bankbooks, securities,
certificates, real estate deeds, wills, recent income tax returns, W-2
forms, Social Security number, marriage and birth certificates, military
discharge papers, automobile registration and installment payment books.
- Gather Current Bills
- Answer Sympathy Calls and Messages
- Greet Friends and Relatives
Who Call
- Provide Lodging for Out-of-Town
Guests
- Prepare and File the Social Security
Form SSA 721
- Assist with Filing Insurance
Claim Forms
- If applicable: Prepare and File
for Veteran Insurance, Flag, Headstone and any Veteran Benefits
A person who is grieving the loss
of a loved one is a friend in need of your caring and understanding. Listed
are some suggestions on what you can do to help.
- Attend the funeral of
your friend's loved one. Being at the funeral emphasizes to your friend
that your friendship is important and you will be there for them to
call on.
- Offer to listen. Tell
the bereaved person, "I can't relate to what you're going through, but
if you want to talk, I'm here to listen." Someone who is grieving needs
to talk about his or her emotions.
- Don't tell him or her to “get over it” or
explain how “death
is a part of life.” People differ in the amount of time it takes
to overcome a loss. There is a fine line between being supportive
and being insensitive. Let the person know you are there to support them,
not judge. Survivors need to talk about their loved ones for months,
sometimes years. Healing is not an overnight process.
- It's okay to cry.
- Laughter heals. One of
the most important things you can do is to help your friend focus on
the good memories and fun times that live on.
- A hug or squeeze of the
hand goes a long way toward providing lasting comfort.
- Send a letter recalling
all the great times you have shared together.
- Make a memorial contribution
to their favorite charity.
- Stay in touch. Call them
often on the phone and let them know you have not forgotten them.
- Be the friend you were before.
Take over a meal. Invite your friend to your home. Go out to lunch,
dinner or shopping. Offer to take the kids for a night. See a movie
together.
- Don't wait to be asked.
Show that you care in whatever way is comfortable for you. This is what
friendship is all about.
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